There isn’t a tomorrow

I’ll do it tomorrow when I have time. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I’m too tired. I have to wake up early tomorrow for a doctor’s appointment. I promise I’ll start tomorrow. I’ll start Monday. I’ll have time on the weekends. I’ll wake up earlier.

I’ve used every one of these excuses and a hundred more to procrastinate from the tasks I know I should do. The most incredibly difficult challenge in the world to overcome is starting.. and I just can’t do it. I’ve been in a rut. I’ve been in a rut for some time now. There are parts of my life I’m happy with but parts that I’m not. I work at a respectable company, have a healthy body, but somehow something is still missing. I see friends every now and then and they seem so proud and impressed with my job but I just laugh because If I’d lose it tomorrow i wouldn’t shed a tear. If my parents died tomorrow, I think I would cry my heart out and wish I spent more time with themI miss them and my grandma very much. All my articles sound the same. Nobody will like what I write. My mind fires thoughts at speeds so fast but slow enough for me to latch onto. I don’t know where to begin.

I may not make the best use of my time, but I’m making the most of it now. I may have squandered two years of my life, but I’m enjoying what I do now. And that is writing. I believe Lennon once said “time you spent wasting was not wasted” or something like that. When I heard that a few years ago, I didn’t quite get it and I still don’t think I do now. My goal today is to try to make the most out of my life because there isn’t much of it left. I can see now how it’s possible to wake up one day and see wrinkles all over my face. The dreaded mid-life crisis so to speak. I was afraid to begin this article but now that I finished it I feel invigorated.

Whenever you have something to begin, I can promise you that if you overcome the initial resistance, you’ll feel better once you’re done.

Navigating through this world with uncertainty but excitement. [Software Engineer]

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